Una gabbia di parole

La scienza della felicità

“Vivere il qui ed ora”. E’ questo il messaggio che accomuna tutti coloro che parlano seriamente di come praticare ogni giorno l’arte della felicità.

Vivi l’Adesso, non vivere quindi nel passato ma non proiettarti neppure solo nel futuro. La ragione è di una potenza disarmante, pensateci! Se vivo nel passato non solo non godo del momento presente ma, soprattutto, il giorno appena trascorso presto diventerà anche lui passato e, se lo trascorro nel rancore, nella noia, nel rimpianto, nell’insoddisfazione, non farò altro che annacquare e diluire sempre più le mie energie e la possibilità di vivere in modo diverso mi sfuggirà.

Viceversa, se vivo proiettandomi nel futuro, se penso (o mi convinco) che sarò felice solo dopo che: mi sarò laureato, avrò avuto un figlio, un fidanzato, una casa, una macchina, un lavoro, quel paio di scarpe, quando mi sarò sbarazzata del capo che mi stressa o avrò vinto la lotteria…..bhe anche qui il momento attuale perderà ogni valore e non farò altro che combattere, procrastinando sempre più il momento della soddisfazione/felicità, appioppando agli eventi esterni e agli altri la responsabilità di rendermi felice. Su questo in particolare vi consiglierei di vedere il video di Shawn Achor che spiega sapientemente, nei sottotitoli in italiano, perchè questo non ci fa bene (vedi il video) o lo splendido libro di Eckhart Tolle ” Il potere di Adesso” (vedi)

consapevolezza

Allora questa mattina, nel tepore mattutino delle coperte, facevo questo esercizio che vorrei condividere con voi. Ho pensato alle parole o frasi che più o meno consapevolmente pronunciamo e che contribuiscono a farci cadere in questa “trappola”. Mi è venuto in mente, ad esempio, che mia mamma da quando io e mio fratello ne abbiamo memoria, il 24 di dicembre pronuncia questa frase: “eh.. e anche queste feste sono passate!!!” E noi: “ma come mamma c’è ancora Natale, Santo Stefano, Capodanno e la Befana!” e Lei: “si va bhe ma ormai stanno arrivando!!”

Poi ancora  il pensiero è andato sui messaggi che hanno tempestato le bacheche di Facebook in questi giorni di fine agosto ed inizio settembre. Amici che postavano foto delle vacanze, con sempre lo stesso tipo di messaggio: peccato le vacanze sono finite, ora tocca tornare a lavoro, ora si torna alla normalità! Frasi che per tutto il resto dell’anno associamo invece alla fine del weekend e all’imminente arrivo del deprimente lunedì mattina! Ma anche un nuovo fenomeno mi ha catturata. Non so se capita anche a voi, ma ci sono “amici” (sempre su Fb) che non scrivono nulla durante tutto l’anno, non li senti, sembra che non abbiano nulla da dire, un’opinione, una condivisione, un pensiero, nulla… Poi come per magia, ecco che il loro viaggio estivo diventa l’evento dell’anno. Foto, mete, luoghi, selfie popolano la loro scarna bacheca….poi la vacanza finisce e loro ripiombano nel silente loro bozzolo, il momento di gloria è passato, l’unica cosa che valeva la pena condividere è terminata. ora aspetteremo impazienti la prossima estate o (se saremo fortunati) il prossimo ponte o attimo di senso.

Ma insomma, perchè? Non è una questione di sapersi accontentare, di accettare inermi la dura realtà ma di pensare bene all’uso che facciamo delle parole, dei luoghi comuni, delle “mode” condivise, dove siamo noi in quei  momenti? E’ così che vogliamo vivere? Quel lunedì e tutti i lunedì che trascorriamo sono giorni della nostra vita! Se vivessimo 80 anni stiamo parlando in media di ben 3.840 lunedì in cui abbiamo vissuto a rallentatore, giorni che equivalgono a più o meno 10 anni!! Rinuncereste a 10 anni di vita? O meglio, per 10 anni avete vissuto non nel modo in cui avreste voluto???

Non voglio pensarla così e non lo penso, sono invece convinta che non ne siamo consapevoli, che non ci rendiamo conto spesso di quelle parole o frasi che rafforzano le nostre credenze fino ad influenzare il nostro umore e il modo in cui trascorriamo la vita!

Ecco l’elenco delle cose che in questo periodo della mia vita (circa gli ultimi due mesi)  mi portano “fuori strada”: non vedo l’ora di buttar via quel maledetto divano, appena avrò fatto la cameretta a Stella e sistemato la sala mi sentirò meglio, accidenti l’estate è finita e tra poco arriva il freddo, questo inverno perderò 6 chili, questo inverno andrò a yoga e la cervicale mi farà meno male, non vedo l’ora di riprendere a leggere tanto come un tempo, la prossima estate Stella sarà più grande (dicono che a tre anni si inizia a respirare)…..ecco in 2 minuti quello che ho raccolto e sono convinta che se continuassi verrebbe fuori un papiro!

E allora provateci anche voi, in 2 minuti quanti “alibi” tirereste fuori??

Svegliamoci dal torpore, rintracciamo energie e senso per vivere ogni giorno nel presentee godere di quello che abbiamo, anche se piccolo, e soprattutto non rimandiamo il momento per aprire la nostra mente alla vita!!! Viviamo il qui ed ora!

Veru

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