10 Azioni per Essere più Felici

La felicità si allena

Ognuno di Noi ha il proprio personale percorso verso la Felicità perchè siamo tutti diversi e speciali proprio per questo. La Scienza della Felicità ha però identificato, sulla base delle ultime ricerche e gli studi di lungo corso sul tema, alcune azioni e modi di fare le cose o affrontare le situazioni che sono in grado di aumentare in maniera consistente e durevole il nostro livello di felicità e soddisfazione di vita generale.

Le trovate di seguito, accompagnate dalle informazioni scientifiche che le sostanziano, domande e suggerimenti per aiutarvi ad applicarle nella vita di tutti i giorni, in famiglia, a lavoro, a scuola e in tutti gli ambiti che vi stanno a cuore.

Sono azioni semplici a volte e che non richiedono particolare sforzo se non quello della ripetizione costante. La felicità è come un muscolo che possiamo allenare e più “facciamo” maggiori saranno i risultati.

Il Mondo cambia con le nostre Azioni e ognuno di noi può fare la differenza ogni giorno!

10 Azioni per la Felicità

1. DONARE – Fare qualcosa per gli Altri 

Fare qualcosa per gli altri – sia semplice, non pianificata che azioni specifiche di volontariato – è uno degli acceleratori più potenti della nostra felicità e di quella di chi ci circonda. Possiamo aiutare estranei, la famiglia, gli amici, i vicini o i colleghi, bambini o anziani, persone vicine o lontane. Donare non è una questione di soldi, quindi non c’è bisogno di essere ricchi. Si può donare una parola dolce, un gesto di attenzione, un pensiero gentile, un sorriso, del tempo, un servizio, una propria competenza. A volte queste cose sono molto più preziose e apprezzate di un aiuto economico.

Quando facciamo qualcosa per gli altri si attivano aree del cervello associate con i centri del piacere, della connessione sociale e della fiducia. I comportamenti altruistici rilasciano endorfine aumentando i livelli di felicità di chi compie il gesto ma anche delle persone aiutate. La scienza ha inoltre dimostrato che aiutare gli altri aumenta la soddisfazione di vita, il senso e il significato della nostra esistenza, aumenta la fiducia in noi stessi, migliora lo stato d’animo e riduce lo stress aiutando la nostra mente a dimenticarsi dei nostri problemi. La gentilezza è il collante tra la felicità individuale e il benessere delle comunità e della società più ampia.

Fare qualcosa per gli altri ci connette con le persone e risponde ad uno dei bisogni di base del nostro “essere umani”: la connessione, l’essere in relazione.

Dunque, se vuoi sentirti bene fai del bene!

DOMANDA: Cosa hai fatto recentemente per rendere felice qualcuno o aiutare gli altri?

IDEE DI AZIONI: Fai un complimento a un amico o una collega, fai ridere qualcuno, offri il tuo aiuto a un familiare che ne ha bisogno, paga un caffè per il prossimo cliente al bar, aiuta un collega che è indietro con un lavoro…

2. RELAZIONARSI – Connettersi agli Altri

La socialità, la capacità di costruire e mantenere relazioni reciprocamente soddisfacenti sono il fattore che più di tutti determina la felicità. Le persone con relazioni sociali forti e stabili sono più felici, godono di miglior salute e vivono più a lungo. Le nostre relazioni affettive con familiari e amici ci donano quell’amore, sostegno e significato capaci di aumentare il nostro valore e la nostra autostima. I nostri network sociali più allargati rafforzano il nostro senso di appartenenza. E’ dunque vitale agire quotidianamente per rafforzare le nostre relazioni e costruire nuovi legami sociali.

Inoltre la nostra felicità influenza positivamente le persone intorno a noi, i nostri contatti, ma anche i loro amici, cioè i contatti dei nostri contatti.

Le ricerche hanno dimostrato che la felicità di una persona a noi vicina aumenta la nostra felicità del 15%. E la felicità di un amico di un nostro amico aumenta la nostra felicità del 10%, così come la felicità di un contatto di terzo livello del 6%.

La felicità è contagiosa!

Dunque, se vuoi essere felice circondati di persone felici!

DOMANDA: Cosa puoi fare per passare più tempo con le persone che ti stanno a cuore?

IDEE DI AZIONI: Telefona o incontra più spesso i tuoi familiari, gioca con i tuoi figli, invita a cena i tuoi amici. Stabilisci nuove relazioni: fermati a parlare con qualcuno mentre fai shopping, col tuo vicino di casa, impara il nome di una persona nuova ogni giorno.

3. MUOVERSI – Prendersi cura del proprio corpo

“Mens sana in corpore sano”. Il nostro corpo e la nostra mente sono connessi, siamo UNO. Essere attivi, muoversi, fare sport migliora la nostra salute fisica e produce felicità. Muovendoci infatti produciamo istantaneamente sostanze in grado di agire sull’umore e lo sport può addirittura farci uscire da periodi di depressione. Non dobbiamo per forza correre una maratona, bastano come al solito semplici attenzioni che possiamo dedicarci ogni giorno per essere più attivi. Come salire le scale invece di prendere l’ascensore. Parcheggiare l’auto più distante dal posto che dobbiamo raggiungere per lo shopping o il lavoro. E possiamo aumentare il nostro benessere anche disconnettendoci per un po’ dalla tecnologia e riconnettendoci con la natura, passando quindi più tempo all’aria aperta e, cosa altrettanto importante, assicurandoci di riposare e dormire a sufficienza (almeno 8 ore!).

La scienza ha dimostrato che sebbene i nostri geni influenzano circa il 50% della nostra felicità, le situazioni e circostanze della vita (come i soldi o l’ambiente esterno) influenza il nostro livello di felicità solo per il 10%. Un buon 40% dipende invece dalle nostre attività quotidiane e dalle scelte consapevoli che facciamo.

La buona notizia è che le nostre azioni possono davvero fare la differenza.

Dunque, se vuoi essere felice sii attivo, rilassati e riposati. Ogni giorno!

DOMANDA: Quali sono le attività sportive o di esercizio fisico che ti piacciono di più?

IDEE DI AZIONI: Scendi dall’autobus una fermata prima. Fai le scale, spegni la tv ed esci a fare una passeggiata, vai in palestra, pratica uno sport. Mangia cibo sano, bevi più acqua, dormi! Osserva quali azioni, esercizi o attività fisiche migliorano il tuo umore e fanne di più.

4. ESSERE PRESENTI – Vivere nel qui e ora

Hai mai provato quella sensazione che deriva dal domandarsi “la vita deve essere di più, deve significare qualcos’altro”? Beh la buona notizia è che si, c’è molto di più ed è proprio davanti noi. Dobbiamo solo imparare a rallentare, fermarci e osservare. Allenarci ad essere più presenti nel momento, consapevoli e dentro ogni azione che stiamo compiendo, senza che la mente rimbalzi tra passato e futuro, tra preoccupazioni ed ansie per cose che non sono “ora”, riserva incredibili meraviglie per il nostro livello di benessere. Sia che si tratti dei passi che compiamo sulla strada per andare a lavoro ogni giorno, sia del cibo di cui ci nutriamo, sia delle relazioni che viviamo. La consapevolezza e la presenza ci aiutano a rimanere in contatto con le nostre emozioni e la vita così com’è mentre accade, oltre che stoppare la continua lotta coi rimpianti e le delusioni del passato e l’ansia o la preoccupazione per il futuro.

Recenti ricerche hanno dimostrato che 8 settimane di meditazione mindfulness possono cambiare la struttura del cervello, addirittura aumentando la densità di materia grigia nell’ippocampo, centro dell’apprendimento e della memoria, oltre che nelle regioni cerebrali della consapevolezza, della compassione e dell’introspezione.

Dunque, se vuoi essere felice fermati ed osserva. E’ nel momento che la vita si manifesta in tutta la sua ricchezza.

DOMANDA: Cosa noti intorno a te e cosa provi proprio adesso?

IDEE DI AZIONI: Concediti del tempo per pulire la mente, fare spazio nella testa, spegnere i pensieri. Almeno una volta al giorno, fermati per 5 minuti e semplicemente prova ad osservare il tuo respiro. Respira e sperimenta il “qui e ora”. Osserva e apprezza le cose belle che ti circondano ogni giorno, grandi o piccole. Alberi, uccelli che cantano, il profumo del caffè, il sorriso dei tuoi figli, l’abbraccio di una persona cara..

5. USCIRE DALLA ZONA DI COMFORT – Impara qualcosa di nuovo

Imparare cose nuove influenza il nostro livello di felicità in molti modi. Ci apre a nuove idee e ci aiuta a rimanere curiosi e coinvolti come i bambini. Migliora il sentimento di auto-realizzazione, la fiducia in se stessi e la resilienza. Ci sono tantissime occasioni per imparare cose nuove, non solo attraverso scuole e certificazioni ufficiali. Possiamo chiedere ad un amico di insegnarci qualcosa che sa fare bene, frequentare un’associazione di interessi, imparare a cantare, suonare uno strumento, praticare uno sport e molto altro.

Siamo stati abituati a pensare che solo dopo aver raggiunto il successo allora saremo felici. La scienza ha dimostrato invece che la formula tra successo e felicità funziona al contrario: la felicità viene prima del successo, cioè se siamo felici allora è più probabile che avremo il successo (qualsiasi cosa intendiamo con esso: soddisfazione nelle relazioni, una vita prospera, la salute, la realizzazione di un nostro obiettivo). Quando siamo positivi il nostro cervello è motivato, coinvolto, creativo, ha energia e produce di più.

Dunque, se vuoi essere felice trova il tempo di dedicarti a ciò che ami e imparare cose nuove!

DOMANDA: Cosa hai imparato o sperimentato per la prima volta recentemente?

IDEE DI AZIONI: Impara a cucinare il sushi o una ricetta della cucina tradizionale della zona in cui vivi, leggi un quotidiano con idee opposte alle tue, cambia strada per andare a lavorare, visita un museo o una zona d’interesse storico-culturale locale. Impara una nuova abilità, anche se semplice, una tecnica di primo soccorso, come usare una nuova funzione del tuo cellulare o una nuova parola.

6. AVERE UNA DIREZIONE – Fissa obiettivi a cui tendere

Avere una prospettiva di lungo termine è davvero importante per il nostro benessere emotivo e la felicità. Abbiamo tutti bisogno di obiettivi e traguardi da realizzare che ci motivino e ci spingano all’azione, abbastanza sfidanti per stimolare il nostro impegno e farci crescere ma anche raggiungibili. Porsi obiettivi ambiziosi al punto da apparirci impossibili crea solo stress immotivato e non necessario. Scegliere scopi che abbiano un senso e siano realistici è come avere una stella polare che guida le nostre azioni quotidiane in un percorso che alimenta la nostra soddisfazione e il senso di appagamento nel perseguirli.

Le ricerche hanno dimostrato che l’ottimismo ci aiuta a raggiungere i risultati. Le persone ottimiste e con un atteggiamento mentale positivo tendono ad essere più felici, in salute e riescono ad affrontare meglio le situazioni di stress e difficoltà.

“Procedi con sicurezza nella direzione dei tuoi sogni. Vivi la vita che desideri.” Henry David Thoreau

Dunque, se vuoi essere felice non rinunciare ai tuoi sogni, trasformali in obiettivi da realizzare

DOMANDA: Qual è un obiettivo importante che puoi perseguire per i prossimi 6 mesi?

IDEE DI AZIONI: Fai il primo passo: definisci un obiettivo che vuoi realizzare e  individua la prima azione che puoi fare per andare in quella direzione. Fai una telefonata, riempi un modulo, parlane a qualcuno.  Condividi i tuoi sogni e i tuoi progetti. Racconta a 3 persone la cosa che più ti ispira e il proposito che vorresti realizzare quest’anno e ascolta quali sono i loro.

7. ESSERE RESILIENTI – Impara a rialzarti

Ognuno di noi ha i propri momenti di stress, fallimento, sperimenta la perdita o qualche trauma nel corso della vita. Il modo in cui affrontiamo questi eventi ha un notevole impatto sul nostro benessere. Spesso non possiamo scegliere cosa ci accade ma possiamo sempre scegliere come reagire agli eventi della vita. Non è sempre semplice, lo sappiamo, ma una delle scoperte più interessanti della scienza in merito a questo tema è che la resilienza, la forza con cui affrontare le difficoltà della vita si può imparare ed allenare.

Le nostre emozioni, in particolare, influenzano molto il nostro livello di felicità sul lungo termine. Provare costantemente emozioni piacevoli in un rapporto di 3 a 1 con emozioni spiacevoli conduce ad un punto specifico in cui diventiamo naturalmente più resilienti, sviluppiamo spontaneamente una forza interiore che ci fa affrontare meglio le avversità e ottenere ciò che desideriamo.

Dunque, se vuoi essere felice quando non puoi cambiare una situazione, cambia il modo di osservarla

DOMANDA:  Cosa ti ha aiutato a rialzarti in una situazione difficile in cui sei passata/o?

IDEE DI AZIONI: Chiedi aiuto se hai bisogno. Confidati con un amico, parla con un professionista, rivolgiti ad un collega o chiedi ad una persona vicina di darti una mano. Quando qualcosa ti affligge fai qualcosa che aumenti la gioia, che ti entusiasma. Prova a cambiare il tuo umore e a guardare il problema da un’altra prospettiva.

8. EMOZIONI – Guarda il bello che è intorno a te

Le emozioni piacevoli  – gioia, gratitudine, soddisfazione, ispirazione, fiducia – non ci fanno solo sentire bene mentre le proviamo ma ci aiutano a fare meglio le cose, allargano la nostra visione e le prospettive, aumentano la nostra resilienza e migliorano la salute fisica. Quindi, sebbene dobbiamo rimanere realistici nei confronti della vita così com’è (e infatti felicità non significa evitare il dolore e rifiutare i problemi a tutti i costi..), con i suoi alti e bassi, è molto utile e importante focalizzarci sugli aspetti positivi di ogni situazione. Come dire, se la vita è un giardino con tante erbacce, sforziamoci di piantare più semi di fiori nuovi e prendiamoci cura di essi piuttosto che spendere le nostre energie a sradicare le erbacce e dispiacerci per esse. Man mano che i nuovi fiori cresceranno daranno nuova luce e colore alla nostra vita e sarà anche meno faticoso e più motivante rimuovere le erbacce.

La neuroscienza occidentale ha finalmente confermato ciò che la saggezza orientale ha sempre divulgato: la felicità è un’abilità che si può apprendere. Gli studi dimostrano che la felicità, la compassione e la gentilezza sono il risultato di comportamenti che si possono allenare e migliorare con la pratica,  grazie alla neuroplasticità del nostro cervello (la capacità di cambiare e costruire nuove abitudini che dura per tutta la vita).

Dunque, se vuoi essere felice fai di più di ciò che ti rende felice

DOMANDA: Quali cose belle ti sono accadute oggi?

IDEE DI AZIONI: Ascolta la musica, guarda un film comico, esci con gli amici, gioca con il cane, abbraccia tuo figlio, sorridi e regala una parola positiva e di apprezzamento ogni volta che incontri qualcuno. Osserva l’effetto che fa.

 9. ACCETTARSI – Sentiti bene con Te stesso

Nessuno è perfetto, ma quanto tempo passiamo a confrontarci con un’immagine negativa di noi stessi, sopravvalutando invece gli altri? Combattere con le nostre imperfezioni – ciò che non siamo piuttosto di vedere ciò che abbiamo di bello – non ci fa stare bene, non aumenta la nostra felicità. Imparare ad accettarci così come siamo, ad amare anche le nostre imperfezioni, ad essere gentili verso noi stessi anche quando le cose non vanno come vogliamo, aumenta le possibilità di lasciarci andare e divertirci in questa vita, la nostra resilienza e il benessere. E’ anche un buon modo per imparare ad accettare gli altri per come sono, quindi avere relazioni reciprocamente più soddisfacenti.

Alla Harvard School of Public Health sono stati esaminati 200 studi sul benessere psicologico e la salute cardiovascolare. E’ emerso che l’ottimismo e le emozioni positive rappresentano un fattore di protezione importante rispetto alle malattie cardiovascolari, riducendo addirittura del 50% il rischio di attacchi di cuore.

Dunque, se vuoi essere felice non paragonarti agli altri, amati di più.

DOMANDA: Qual è il tuo più grande punto di forza o la tua miglior risorsa interiore?

IDEE DI AZIONI: Chiedi ad una persona cara di dirti qual è secondo lei la tua più grande virtù, il tuo miglior talento e prova ad utilizzarlo maggiormente. Sii gentile con te stesso così come fai con gli altri. Guarda i tuoi errori come opportunità per imparare qualcosa di nuovo su di te, il modo in cui affronti le situazioni o ti relazioni agli altri. Fai una lista delle cose che sai fare bene, anche se piccole o semplici e falle più spesso.

10. DARE UN SENSO ALLA PROPRIA VITA – Sentiti parte di qualcosa di più grande

Le persone che hanno uno scopo superiore e sentono che la loro vita ha Senso sono più felici, hanno maggiore auto-controllo, si sentono padroni delle situazioni e ottengono sempre di più da ciò che fanno. Inoltre soffrono meno lo stress e sono meno soggetti ad ansia e depressione. Ma dove e come trovare il senso in questa vita? Può essere fare un lavoro che fa la differenza (da un punto di vista ambientale o umanitario ad esempio), aprirsi ad una dimensione spirituale(anche ma non solo di tipo religioso), semplicemente nell’onorare la famiglia. La risposta a questa domanda varia in relazione ai valori di ogni individuo ma ha sicuramente a che fare con il sentirsi connessi a qualcosa di grande, che va oltre noi e la nostra singola esistenza.

“Vivi come se le tue azioni facciano la differenza. La fanno.”– William james

Dunque, se vuoi essere felice e vivere una vita significativa, dai un senso alla tua vita

DOMANDA: Quali aspetti della tua vita ti danno una vera sensazione di significato, hanno grande senso e valore?

IDEE DI AZIONI: Trascorri più tempo con i bambini, fai volontariato, fermati a guardare le stelle, partecipa ad un’associazione con fini etici. Offri il tuo tempo agli altri, aiuta un vicino o un collega, dona il sangue.

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